UNREAL: A TEAM ACTUALLY TOOK CHAD QUALLS OFF OF THE PHILLIES HANDS! The New York Yankees of all teams took Qualls off of the Phillies hands' for a player to be named later or cash.
That means the stupid Yankees are paying the rest of Qualls' $1.1 million salary, which means the Phillies can use that money to add a real reliever or add a sculpture that's as good as the one in left field in Miami.
We all know this defies logic. Dave Murphy of the Daily News promised that the trade that Qualls asked for would never happen, and that a Unicorn Ride to the airport would accompany such a trade:
Even funnier than the High Cheese prophesy is that Yankees fans are are actually excited to get Chad Qualls:
"Depth". It'll be like Mariano Rivera never left.
Suckers. Enjoy your magic beans!