Eagles Postgame Report: Birds Show Absolutely Nothing In Loss To 49ers

The Eagles were in for perhaps their most difficult game of the season playing yet anther team that has had more rest than them.

It started out relatively well, but the Eagles were unable to convert in the red zone, particularly when Jalen Hurts holds the ball way too long just to take 15-yard sacks.

The ineptitude of the offense only got worse in the second quarter, where Brian Johnson turned to Kenneth Gainwell and Quez Watkins, the team’s two worst skill players, to move the chains in spite of Jalen continuing to take those sacks. Unsurprisingly, this plan was an utter failure and the team put up a big fat zero in the second quarter.

On the other side, the defense was standout in the first quarter. Then they apparently decided to stop tackling or getting pressure altogether. The defensive line basically disappeared in the second quarter and despite a first quarter shutout, they allowed 14 points in the second quarter and the Eagles entered the half with a deficit, 14-6.

That defense continued after the half as the 49ers scored 14 points on their next two drives while the Eagles defense looked about as good as your local pop warner defense. There was no pressure. There was not good tackles. There was no coverage of receivers. 

The offense got going a bit after a late hit and assault of Big Dom on the sidelines left Dre Greenlaw ejected. That momentum didn’t last long as Darius Slay utterly failed to do literally anything positive and allowed a 3rd and 7 then failed to catch up to Deebo to allow another quick strike by San Francisco.

The offense got the ball back and was just as much of a failure as it was in the second quarter, culminating in Hurts choosing to leave the pocket on a run he had no chance of converting and injuring himself in the process (left with a concussion).

The defense made exactly 0 changes and got run over again. Marcus Mariota came in and, although his passes were way off, managed to move the chains several times for the Eagles until Hurts returned. Hurts punched it in, but with six minutes left, a failed two-point conversion and a defense with absolutely no skill, the Birds were essentially done since they were down 16. After that, it was just 49ers players who didn’t care because they won and Eagles defenders who didn’t care because they hadn’t cared since the second quarter anyway.

Overall, the defense was a pitiful embarrassment filled with guys who should be donating their game checks to folks that actually do something other than stand around and watch dudes run past them for 60 minutes. Every single player on that defense should be in the media admitting how God-awful they were.

Brian Johnson also needs to be out there explaining why Jalen Hurts is holding the ball for so long just to take sacks and why he’s trying so hard to get his worst offensive players the ball the most.

Offensive MVP: DeVonta Smith

Some might argue AJ Brown, who had a slight edge in the yardage category but Smith had the much more impressive performance not only blocking, but breaking tackles. Smith ran through tackles for extra yardage. Brown did spins and went down on his own to avoid getting hit. Smith had 96 yards and a touchdown with nine catches on just 10 targets. He was the most reliable receiver Hurts had and perhaps the only player outside the running backs who actually appeared interested in getting that extra yardage rather than making a business decision.

Defensive MVP: Big Dom DiSandro

The defense itself was garbage. The only players that deserve any attention on that side of the ball deserve to be torn to shreds for how awful they were and their absolute lack of heart and effort. Instead, I will argue that security is a defense and it was Big Dom who showed more heart in this game than any of the bums who wore a uniform for the defense. Dom DiSandro stood his ground and went after the dirty 49ers players, something that no one else on the offense had the balls to do – they were too busy being pushed around and flailing wildly at whoever ran by. Dom’s defense of the sideline was better than anything they did the whole game, even after he was forced to leave the sideline.

Game Notes

• One of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen from officiating: Josh Sweat was twice flagged for an offsides penalty by a judge behind the play and AFTER the play was over already. That’s insane levels of rigging things (though it really didn’t decide the game).
• Another example of poor officiating (overall, not necessarily against the Eagles) was after the ejection, there were numerous late hits and literal punches or blows to the head well after plays were over that were simply not addressed at any point by the officials. Frankly. it would have been nice to see someone like Fletcher Cox beat up some 49ers players after a play was done since it is evidently condoned by the officiating crew.
• The big deep pass to Quez Watkins could easily have been a pass interference and that would likely have had the Eagles leading at the half. More importantly, however, is that it was further proof that Quez Watkins has no ability to catch since he had both hands on it. Julio Jones, OZ, DeVonta Smith, AJ Brown all come down with that ball. Heck, I would bet that Greg Ward, who was just cut from the practice squad comes down with that ball. This is year dour and Quez only falls further and further out of favor. There’s basically never a reason to target him unless there is literally no defenders within a 10-yard radius.
• The only play that was close to being made that would have been positive for the Eagles defense after the second quarter was what would have been an interception for Reed Blankenship, who dove to the router and had the catch made. Unfortunately, the dive he took led his arms to be split by the receiver’s knee. Of course, the receiver’s knee had more strength than a dislodged ball so was forced out – any route that doesn’t result in the receiver’s leg being between Blankenship’s arms would have been an interception and potentially kept the Birds in the game.
• It’s like a broken record every week: Brian Johnson sucks. No idea why he’s even a candidate to be a head coach, but the Eagles should bring in guys like Frank Reich, Josh McCown, Duce Staley, etc. to help with play calling and then pray that some team is stupid enough to hire this wasteoid in the offseason and grant the team a draft pick to be rid of this loser.
• The Eagles are now just one win up on the Cowboys, 49ers, and Lions. They have lost the tie breaker with San Francisco and next week may decide the tie breaker with the Cowboys and for the division. The good news is that the Eagles should have the easiest schedule of that group following their game with the Cowboys.
• There’s no stats to lay out, but the offensive line was incredible in this game. It’s a real shame the Eagles never ran the ball with a running back and their quarterback stood around for however long it took for him to be pressured and get sacked regardless of who was open downfield. In particular, Lane Johnson did an excellent job of winning most of the snaps against Nick Bosa and Chase Young – he has an argument for offensive player of the game.

Injury Notes

• Jalen Hurts went into the medical tent and into the locker room in the third quarter due to a concussion. Mariota played about half of a series before Hurts returned.

San Francisco 49ers @ Philadelphia Eagles – December 3, 2023