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Displaced Phan

Sports Editor

Articles by Displaced Phan (11)

TRADE CANDIDATE: REID BRIGNAC

The Phillies are in a bind.  The trade deadline is rapidly approaching and they don't really have anybody to trade.  Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley don't want to leave.  A.J. Burnett, Cliff Lee, and Jonathan Papelbon all just crapped the bed in front of a stadium full of scouts.  Carlos Ruiz just had a concussion.  […]

Displaced Phan  •  23 Jul 2014
RUBEN AMARO, JR SIGNS AN INFANT

In a move that most of the baseball world are viewing as a radical, desperate attempt to save his job, Ruben Amaro, Jr. has signed a one week old infant to a decades-long contract. The contract is a complex one and will take several weeks to sort out.  However, some key points were revealed. 1. […]

Displaced Phan  •  13 Jul 2014
At Least We’re Not The…

After the first game of the 2014 season, Phillies phans were engorged with pride.  The Phillies were scoring runs by the touchdown and they were undefeated (1-0) sitting atop the NL East.  The very next week, they now sit in a tie for 4th (or last if you're a "glass half-empty" person).  With doomsday prophecies […]

Displaced Phan  •  10 Apr 2014
WHY THE 2014 PHILLIES WILL BE GOOD: CHOOCH EDITION

Despite the atrocities of the past two games, I believe the Phillies will be good.  Despite the fact that every person with a pulse and a computer declared the 2014 Phillies a bunch of bums that will be lucky to win only 67 games (S.I.), I think the Phillies will be good.  Am I insane?  […]

Displaced Phan  •  03 Apr 2014
I LOVE YOU, CHARLIE MANUEL

I started really paying attention to the Phillies (and sports in general) around 1985-86.  I was alive for the 1980 and 1983 World Series, but too young to remember them.  This, however, is what I do remember. That's a whole lot of horrific seasons.  Seasons like this were the norm.  With the exception of 1993, […]

Displaced Phan  •  17 Aug 2013
FREDDY GALVIS: BUTTKICKER

I wanted to take a moment from my impending deportation from Chile to address Freddy Galvis' walk-off celebration.  He kicks butts.  He kicks them rather hard.  I went back and reviewed the Phillies' walk off wins this year and Freddy kicks the man with the walk off hit right square in the butt every time.  […]

Displaced Phan  •  24 Jun 2013
MICHAEL MARTINEZ PHAILED US ALL

Last weekend, I defended Michael Martinez's honor.  I did this because the entire phanbase bashed his call-up and since I'm an empathetic man, I felt awful for him.  Fast-forward to yesterday and Michael Martinez had the chance to defend my honor and win the game for the Phillies.  The stage was set perfectly for the […]

Displaced Phan  •  02 Jun 2013
SYMPATHY FOR MICHAEL MARTINEZ

When Michael Martinez was called up to replace Chase Utley on the Phillies roster Thursday, there was pure outrage from the entire Phillies phanbase.  Twitter almost broke.  Why the editor-in-chief of this very website was sent into a psychotic rage. I think the igniting of torches and the sharpening of pitchforks was a bit much.  […]

Displaced Phan  •  25 May 2013
Five Ways To Fix The Phillies Offense

Let's face it, the Phillies kind of stink.  I mean, they don't full blown stink, but their style of play has been disheartening to say the least.  The offense is particularly horrific.  I've racked my brain for ways to quick fix this team right now.  We cannot wait until next year.  We have to get […]

Displaced Phan  •  21 Apr 2013